Astrology, elbert wade, PMAFA certified, consultant astrologer

Keeping Love Alive -- Astrologically

by Elbert Wade, PMAFA - Professional Certified Consultant Astrologer
Copyright 1999 - 2017 Elbert Wade - Worldwide Rights Reserved
(Full-length feature Astrology article by certified consultant astrologer Elbert Wade, PMAFA, published here first)

YOUR eyes met...Wow! It was love at first sight. Everything was wonderful. You began dating, seeing each other more and more. It was electric, even magical! Soon, you both decided to become a twosome and to spend forever together; in time, you took the big step and vowed to honor and love one another exclusively. Happily together, the days, weeks, months -- perhaps a few years -- pass; then, for you two (and too many other couples) things seem to go downhill and one (or both) starts to wonder what happened to the former thrill, excitement and harmony. You may feel love is slipping away, that it even may be dying! Who is most at fault; which one is mainly to blame? Does it really matter? Will name-calling and finger-pointing help if one or both of you sincerely desires to do something positive to keep love alive and the relationship intact? Basic astrological principles, applied constructively by you or (hopefully) you and your mate, can provide valuable help for breathing new life and harmony into your ailing partnership.

Begin by determining your lover's basic zodiacal "type." While it is true each individual is born 'under' one or another of the twelve Sun-Signs, and that most tend ostensibly to 'reflect' many of their Sun-Sign's most classic characteristics, numerous others, because of unique and powerful horoscopic factors, may seem often to act and react to life's important opportunities and challenges in ways that are contrary to their Sun-Sign. For example, some particular person born 'active' Aries may impress others generally as being more like a 'passive' Pisces.

Study the selected key words/terms (including both the 'pluses' and 'minuses') following in "The Twelve Basic Zodiacal Types: 'Plus' & 'Minus' Keywords/Terms" to determine your mate's (and your own) more obvious and most consistent sign 'type'-- regardless of birth sign. (In rare cases it is entirely possible anyone may seem to 'fit' two types or signs about equally!) After determining which 'description' seems most to apply you will then need to go to the section following later titled: "Keeping Love Alive: Harmony Revisited," for useful guides and hints which suggest how to re-discover/re-introduce more life, compatibility, excitement and real satisfaction into your present faltering relationship. Special re-reminder: Determine your 'type' as well; then share this information with your lover. If you work together the situation could improve double-time!


ARIES: ('Pluses') Accented mental energy, very quick wit, natural leader, very ambitious, lover of independence, enthusiastic, dynamic. ('Minuses') Loves to 'fight', explosive temper, pushy, large ego, impatient, lacks follow-up, headstrong, reactive

TAURUS: ('Pluses') Self-reliant, determined, stable, patient. gentle, practical, good provider, sensuous, strong libido, reliable. ('Minuses') Unyielding, greedy, materialistic, uncaringly desires self-satisfaction, dangerous when really angered, unbearably untidy, very strong appetites

GEMINI: ('Pluses') Communicative, inventive, mentally versatile, youthful, sensitive, idealistic, kindhearted, multi-talented. ('Minuses') Gossipy, very restless, verbose, quibbler, 'flightly,' not always truthful, too changeful, little staying power, nosey, basically quite shallow

CANCER: ('Pluses') Reserved, fertile imagination, prudent, sympathetic, family-oriented, security-driven, very industrious, sensitive, retiring, protective. ('Minuses') Overly-possessive, selfish, too shy, "crybaby." moody, faint-hearted, timid, touchy, "smothering"

LEO: ('Pluses') Good natured, generous, friendly, very talented, sunny disposition, frank, "magnetic," cheerful, young-at-heart. ('Minuses") Egocentric, overly boastful, pleasure-driven, overbearing, pompous, self-righteous, show-off, bombastic, demands attention

VIRGO: ('Pluses') Hardworking, health-conscious, extremely orderly, 'predictable,' industrious, practical, excellent record-keeper, money-saver, contemplative, 'dutiful.' ('Minuses') Dull, sometimes boring, 'worrywart,' 'nitpicker,' workaholic, prudish, constant complainer, fussy, hypercritical, monotonous, malcontented

LIBRA: ('Pluses') Easygoing, even tempered, calm, peacemaker, just, kind, affectionate, artistic, courteous, pleasant, fair, amicable. ('Minuses') Indecisive, meddling, one-sided, self-loving, lazy, manipulative, unfair, wants total control, vacillating

SCORPIO: ('Pluses') Enterprising, tenacious, energetic, pronounced libido, private, shrewd, determined, daring, strong willpower, keen judgment. ('Minuses') Suspicious, skeptical, unyielding, "sneaky," vengeful, trouble-maker, blunt, jealous, underhanded, over-sexed, sadistic, deceptive

SAGITTARIUS: ('Pluses') Jovial, refreshing, optimistic, frank, honest, aspiring, philosophical, prophetic, very charitable, hopeful, non-demanding. ('Minuses') Wasteful, spendthrift, careless, unconcentrated, unstable, too aloof, overexpansive, never home, hurtful, biting sense of humor

CAPRICORN: ('Pluses') Quiet, exceedingly practical, dignified, concentrated, extremely ambitious, fully dedicated to ongoing advancement, dutiful to all responsibilities, firm. ('Minuses') Cold, authoritative, often exceedingly negative, often worrisome, rigid, 'heartless,' taskmaster, stingy, narrow, depressing, unforgiving

AQUARIUS: ('Pluses') Calm, always friendly, determined, refined, intelligent, exceedingly kind, intuitive, forgiving, original, unique, faithful, refreshingly-pleasant nature. ('Minuses') Unpredictable, unreliable, unorthodox, strange beliefs and 'off-beat' habits, unconventional, "bohemian," weird friends -- or no friends

PISCES: ('Pluses') Loving, very tender, modest, imaginative, nonabrasive, understanding, usually easygoing, very talented artistically, considerate, co-operative, sympathetic. ('Minuses') Wishy-washy, vague, too impressionable, overly-emotional, impractical to a real fault, deceptive, lacks real motivation, addictive, 'dreamer,' untrustworthy, duplistic


The Aries-Type Mate: This lover relishes challenges. If you are overly agreeable and allow them to win every "battle" without some noteworthy resistence, their regard and respect for you may lessen. Remember this is the zodiac's 'Don Quixote' who'll challenge "windmills" if there is no other competition! Praise from you for any 'won contest' will add points. This is an innately jealous partner who must always be NUMBER ONE with their mate. Lovemaking can be intense, exciting, frequent -- but too often, brief. If the brevity of the sex act itself leaves you frustrated, unsatisfied, you need to encourage more foreplay -- perhaps in the form of a challenge, followed by lots of praise when your partner lives up to your expectations. Whenever possible allow them to lead, to be in charge of things important (or not) to the relationship. Frequently ask for input, suggestions, advice and co-operation. Know they may say hurtful things when angry which they will quickly and apologetically recant when they do calm down, which typically is very soon. Try to forgive and forget. It's best to hold your tongue when they are extremely upset or agitated. You don't want to give them an "excuse" to be abrasive or verbally abusive. This lover dislikes being 'smothered' or 'tethered' by anyone -- especially the mate. Public displays of intimate affection are not desired.

The Taurus-Type Mate: It takes a lot of loving to keep this sensuous partner contented, happy. They do tend to enjoy sex and are especially pleased with the mate who knows how (and continues) to be sexually appealing. If you 'let yourself go' appearance-wise, you may, in time, have to let this lover go as well. You are so mistaken if you believe you can force them to change anything about themselves you do not like. However, cajoling and patient friendly persuasion might just possibly work occasionally, but don't bet on this! While your mate may spend more than you think necessary, mainly because they appreciate quality and like to enjoy the finer things money can buy, try to be understanding -- especially if they earn a good income and don't deny or begrudge your personal little 'luxuries.' If you are a fast-paced person, it may not be easy to accept or adapt to your partner's typical 'laid-back' lifestyle, but doing so might prove not only satisfactory but necessary. Avoid pushing them to the point that they become profoundly angry; you'll avoid learning first-hand what havoc a 'mad bull' can wreak when loose in a 'china shop.'

The Gemini-Type Mate: You absolutely must be versatile, adaptable and mentally stimulating to keep this lover's attention and affection. Maintaining a mental rapport and working constantly to keep the lines of communication open wide are required minimums. If your mate's 'jumping from one thing to another' doesn't actually jeopardize basic security, be as tolerant as possible, realizing this is their basic nature! While you may always speak only the whole truth, your lover may not. After a bit of experience you'll soon be able to know when this individual is really leveling with you; it's much easier than you might imagine. Always let them know your doubts about a matter you question. The typical Gemini-type is relatively easy to 'teach and reform.' This partner wants their mate both to think and appear youthful. Adopting the attitudes of old age and/or the wardrobe of someone who is 'over the hill' will prove a total 'turn-off.' You don't have to be young, only young at heart to please this "ever-youthful" mate. Always be dutiful to mention as often as possible how much younger they look/act than their peers. Accept the reality there will be few 'nothing-happening' moments while you are paired with this every-active (even 'hyper') lover.

The Cancer-Type Mate: Unless you are agreeable to "mothering" this lover there could be some unpleasant stresses in the relationship. This type loves to be coddled and 'protected' by the object of their affection. When communicating and otherwise dealing with this mate, often it's akin to 'walking on eggshells,' meaning they're so sensitive that almost anything you say or do might hurt their feelings. It's only routine if they withdraw into their protective 'shell' when anything even slightly suggests a threat to their concept of 'security.' To please this lover you'll need to dedicate a lot of time, attention and energy to serving home and family. You'll be expected to spend as much time around the home base as possible. Accept the reality that your mate is subject to pronounced mood swings -- from 'bottomless' lows to 'unbelievable' highs. Rest assured that when your lover is in the 'pits' this will change soon -- and vice versa. Your mate has uppermost in mind a plan to ensure present and future security for you and the family. Keeping this in mind, it may be somewhat easier to accept all of that excessive moodiness and ultrasensitivity. All things considered, there is good promise in this union if rock-solid security is at all important to you.

The Leo-Type Mate: This partner expects you to love, honor, obey--and make them the 'star,' the epicenter of attention in your life and the relationship. Nothing upsets more than your attempting to 'upstage' them! In fact, they have an enormous ego which needs someone to keep pumping it up on a continuing basis. It you cannot or won't, they are likely to start looking for some other person(s) who will; hopefully this won't be someone who might be a contender for your place in the union. However, if you are good at complimenting in order to make them feel proud and special, there's not much they won't do to make you happy -- including being a near-perfect lover and generous provider of practically everything your heart may desire. When you go out with this 'image-conscious' lover, you are expected to look your very best as doing so causes your mate to believe others will think he/she has good taste. Keeping yourself looking sharp at home is expected as well. Children, your own or perhaps those of others, may figure most importantly to this mate and the relationship. At times you may feel you're less loved or less important than 'the kids.' Try not to feel neglected or jealous; realize that, in time, this will change as these children mature or move away.

The Virgo-Type Mate: You must have had an inkling before you paired with this 'earthy' lover that they were a dyed-in-the-wool perfectionist. Remember how prompt they were, and how they wanted you to be as well? Recall how fussy they were about their appearance, their home, their vehicle? Recount how hard they worked to be as efficient and effective as possible. Well, it's most unlikely they're much changed now, or that they ever will be. You must have noticed they weren't especially 'romantic,' but probably were most effective as a companion -- and sex partner. If you desire greater harmony and to preserve the relationship, you'll need to recall exactly what about this person was so special, and see if that special 'something' is still there. If you do, you will better understand they're only trying to be helpful when they criticize you if you're not doing something 'right,' or when you're not 'perfect' otherwise. It is probable this mate is loyal, intelligent and a hard worker -- qualities that should contribute most positively to furnishing you and the relationship material-monetary security. If the sexual aspects of the union are not adequate, tell your 'dutiful' mate and it's probable they will work to improve the situation to your satisfaction -- and quickly.

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The Libra-Type Mate: This lover is partnership-oriented, meaning a satisfactory and harmonious relationship is all but mandatory for them to feel happy and satisfied with themselves. Arguing and bickering are very upsetting and cannot long be tolerated. Know that if your and their union doesn't work, they will soon start seeking a new companion. Fortunately most of these mates are more than willing to do anything within reason to maintain any relationship once it has been established; you're assured of co-operation if you're willing to both give and take -- on balance. Since many of these lovers are 'masters' of negotiation, be willing at least to listen to and consider their suggestions/offers for working out any differences between you in the relationship. While most of these Venus-influenced natives are easygoing by nature, they can, if pushed too far, defend themselves and their interests quite aggressively -- and successfully. You may need a lot of patience while waiting for them to make certain decisions about matters important, and not-so-important; indeed, their usual 'fence-riding' can be most frustrating at times. Unfortunately, this is just a part of their nature. Also important to realize: these individuals are other-persons-oriented; therefore, you may need to learn that you'll probably need to 'share' them time-wise with their friends.

The Scorpio-Type Mate: You must know this lover is intense, strong-willed, determined, and certainly appreciates the intimacy and satisfaction of a good sexual rapport. While gratifying sex may not be the 'building blocks' of this union, it is the 'mortar' which holds everything together. Therefore, neither partner will ever accomplish anything constructive through using sex as a bargaining tool; to do so would only make other problems worse and more difficult to resolve. Your lover is, more likely than not, moderately to extremely stubborn. Try as you may, you'll not have much success with demanding that they make any primary changes in the way they have 'always' done something. If any of these practices/habits bother you but you still would like to keep love alive, you will have to make some changes yourself regarding the way you view these 'intolerables.' Only you can determine if this is acceptable -- or possible. This mate will not appreciate your divulging details about any of their activities, or about your love-relationship to anyone -- not even your most trusted friends or family members; therefore, it is best to trust no one with secrets rather than to be sorry later when word gets back to your mate. Working to stay sexually appealing is a big plus for keeping the partnership secure.

The Sagittarius-Type Mate: If you ever thought this lover was going to be a stay-at-home, constantly-attentive, 'smother-me-with-love' partner, you must have entered the relationship blindfolded, or at a time your own mind was 'elsewhere'! Love can be kept alive and healthy if/when you learn to appreciate and enjoy the many freedoms this 'don't-fence-me-(or anybody)-in' mate offers you. However, you must realize they expect the exact same sort of liberties. This does not necessarily mean they are or will be unfaithful, nor that they expect you to be. It's just that they can't tolerate being 'imprisoned' by love -- nor by their partner. Increasing your appreciation for their good sense of humor and generally optimistic outlook will not only help to keep you together, it can also prove uplifting psychologically. Perhaps you need to 'lighten up.' Also realize that when their to-the-point remarks -- intended to be humorous -- are a bit too barbed, they were probably not meant to hurt your feelings or make you angry. Out-of-town travel together can be a boon to smoothing out the 'bumps' in your relationship. If you desire more sexual intimacy, request it; they honestly could have 'lost track'!

The Capricorn-Type Mate: If you have begun to think your intimate partnership seems to run more like a business than anything else, you should have gotten clues and clear indicators from the very beginning. Your practical and success-driven lover may have some difficulty viewing anything from any sort of intangible or 'feeling' perspective. Their desire is to make whatever they start work, and they are ill-equipped to measure progress except tangibly. In essence, if they are performing their 'job' dutifully, and in their estimation are making progress, then they are succeeding. This applies as well to the relationship with you! While it may not be very easy for you to deal with the 'matter-of-factness' evident in the manner they demonstrate their affection, you'll probably have to adjust simply because it's not their nature to be very romantic or 'warm' emotionally. They always will work diligently to provide material security and to do their 'duty' sexually, but it's just not likely they'll ever assist with fulfilling very many of your romantic fantasies. If deserved, you can always expect their respect and support; you have a real friend on whom you can count no matter how difficult a problem you might have to confront. You have a relationship many envy. Get used to the fact your mate may be as 'married' to career/business as to you.

The Aquarius-Type Mate: If you expected a regular or routine sort of partner at the outset of the relationship, you no doubt have learned your expectations were not to be a reality. This unique, 'one-of-a-kind' lover is difficult for you or anyone else to define or categorize. If you have not already adjusted to being prepared for the unexpected, learning to do so will help to keep your love alive. With this mate the probability of boredom is very low, even nil. You never know what to anticipate. If you can learn to 'go with the flow,' this 'surprising' partner can prove most refreshing, even lots of fun. It's very important that you strive to assure an ongoing verbal discourse because once communications break down, your partnership may be in serious danger of failing or at least becoming unbearable at times. If possible, do try to accept the actuality that friends and associates are very important to them and that at times these 'pals' may seem to intrude upon, even (in your opinion) start to jeopardize your partnership. Take some comfort by realizing your mate's concern for friends is not on the same level as the concern for you and the union. It is highly improbable your lover has any intention of ever allowing his/her friends to take your place at any time. Infidelity rarely is an intention or objective.

The Pisces-Type Mate: If some of the 'magic' may have gone from your relationship, it's likely that your view or concept of your lover has altered much more than he/she actually has changed. It is most probable they still are the sensitive, loving and impressionable person they always were. You may wish they would demonstrate some added responsibility in order to make the type of progress which would improve your living standard and help to assure future security for the both of you. Keeping love alive (especially yours) probably will necessitate your helping and encouraging your lover to capitalize more on their marketable assets and talents. In order to be at all successful with doing this, you will have to use plenty of tact and diplomacy. Lovingly offer to 'manage' business/career/work/job activities; encourage your mate to consult with you more frequently about such matters; express love and your firm confidence they will succeed; give them a worthwhile and tangible goal to shoot for; boost them up when they get discouraged or negative; let them know you'd like to have a better lifestyle and that you are willing to help. To make any of this work you must convince your lover of your deep love, while praising everything about them which pleases you now -- which may be a lot. Then, praise any and all progress.

Another copyrighted Astrology article by professional certified consultant astrologer Elbert Wade, PMAFA

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