Astrologer Elbert Wade, PMAFA: Some FAQ

Q: Are you really interested in accepting new clients? (Some say you must just be having a good time goading what you call counterfeit astrologers, hyphenated astrologers, keyboard astrologers, counterfeit psychics, etc., since you don't use hard-sell tactics to push your services like so many others on the internet.)

A: "Yes is the answer to both of these questions. Indeed, Elbert Wade welcomes new clients but he is somewhat selective. He doesn't relish working for those who are looking to have their "fortunes" told, all their problems solved by someone else, or who expect to be told only what they want to hear, or who might wish to be lied to about their "former incarnations" -- or otherwise "astounded" and "amazed." Real, legitimately-practiced Astrology does not include any promise or place for such "magic" or "mumbo-jumbo." And a second and major "yes" to having some fun with a bit of Sagittarius-Moon satire and irony here and there.) :-)

No, Elbert Wade doesn't attempt to "force" or "cajole" anyone to try his services. He simply invites them to visit his pages and make their own decision. He doesn't seek "impulse" buyers. He respects and welcomes clients who use their own judgment about whether they think Elbert Wade, PMAFA, might offer them the guidance, help and information they desire -- and then he works very hard to give each and ever one of them his very best when they place an order.

Q: Why are you starting to call yourself "astrologers astrologer" -- without the ('s)?

A: Elbert thought he could claim this term honestly since he had the honor of teaching some 300 eager students Astrology while operating Astrologers of Dallas (the first such center in the Dallas/Fort Worth metroplex) for 10 years. Many of these former students are now continuing their study (which all astrologers must do), and some are now practicing astrologers.

Q: Why do you have that "Joke Wizard" on the page you call "Elbert Wade's Picture Page"? Don't you know people expect to see your picture? (Well, now they can!)

A: Well, there are two reasons: First, it was placed there for fun -- and to demonstrate how too many mistakenly tend to think astrologers ought to look. Don't viewers note on the "Contents" page that this is an "artist's extremely flattering conceptual rendering"?

Q: You give your address as Grapeland, Texas. Is there really such a place, and if so where in the world is it located?

A: Yes there is such a place! It's a thriving "metropolis" of some 1,450 people, located in the beautiful piney woods of East Texas -- close to Davy Crockett National Forest. Situated on US Highway 287, it is about half way between a couple of small Texas towns some may have heard of -- Dallas 160 miles to the north and Houston 145 miles to the south. Grapeland is the second-largest city in Texas First County -- Houston, named after General Sam Houston, Republic of Texas' first President. The largest city (and County Seat) is Crockett (population about 7,500), named after Davy Crockett. (For whatever it's worth, Elbert Wade is a direct descendant of Sam Houston.) There are two others Grapelands in the US: Grapeland, Mississippi and Grapeland, California. (See: Grapeland, Texas and Grapeland -- the Early Days). By now, are you sorry you asked this question?

Q: How did Grapeland, Texas, get its name?

A: Way back when the railroad right-of-way and roadways were being cleared, there was an abundance of grapevines that had to be cut and removed. When Grapeland was incorporated, the name "Grapevine" was submitted but rejected since there was already a Grapevine near Dallas, so the city fathers settled for the name Grapeland (sometimes called 'Queen City of the Sand Flats'). While there are still some wild grapes in the area, few are actually cultivated for wine or anything else except some home canning of jams and jellies. Therefore, Elbert Wade cannot work even part time as a grape stamper (stomper)! Now perhaps you can more easily understand why Elbert Wade is still doing horoscopes for the public! :-)

Q: What's your opinion of vedic Astrology?

A: Up front Elbert Wade must admit he has done little investigation of "vedic Astrology" since finding it's mainly ancient sidereal (unequal constellations -- and Sun-based) Astrology with a somewhat newer name. Generally, siderealists "gave up the ghost" a very long time ago as tropical (Earth's solar system based) Astrology came to be the most researched, widely accepted, most used -- and most accurate. Elbert Wade's natal sun (tropical) is in mid-Virgo -- which fits the more-typical Virgo "sun-sign" characeristics; it is not in Leo (sidereal/vedic). Further, it is difficult to imagine that this astrologer -- or anyone else -- was "born" or "resides" on the Sun! A question: Is it possible these "vedic" astrologers are mainly interested in setting themselves apart, and adding even more confusion to the minds of the general public about an already overly-complex science-art -- Astrology? If any of the "vedic" gurus wish to respond, Elbert Wade will publish their comments on this page -- or elsewhere on this web site.

Q: Do you use the asteroids in your astrological work?

A: No. Neither does Elbert Wade plot and note the locations of the various nuts, bolts and other space junk that's up there circling the earth for any consideration as to how they might influence someone's natal or progressed chart. This asteroid technobabble is totally unnecessary, useless, and without doubt absolute nonsense -- except to those "astrologers" who might feel a need to include a whole lot more of unnecessary, "impressive" but totally confusing technical psychobabble to their readings. However, it must be recognized that if one of these asteroids falls to earth, it would have very serious and immediate "influences" on lots of people's horoscopes! :-)

Q: Do you offer a money-back guarantee of satisfaction?

A: No. Fortunately this has not even once been an issue. Elbert Wade attempts always to deliver exactly what he promises. He does not use "canned" computer readouts of horoscopes. He invests a lot of personal research and time to record on cassette tapec/CDs his best rendition of what the individual's horoscope shows. If the client's birth information furnished is accurate, this "guarantee matter" is not likely ever to be an issue. Elbert Wade works hard to give every client more than they expected for what they paid. (A very recent client wrote the following: "Quite frankly, I received much more than I anticipated. I am very pleased. Thank you.")

Q: Can you tell clients who will be their mate; when they will reunite with their lover; how long they will live; who is their "soul-mate"; if they will be rich, successful, happy, content; if they will win the lottery?

A: Absolutely NOT. And anyone who claims they can do any of the above is certainly not a trained, experienced, legitimate and ethical astrologer. They well might fall instead into one or more of the following categories: a fake, a counterfeit, a phony, a fraud or a charlatan.

Q: How long did it take you to think up the unbelievably long and convoluted title for this page?

A: In fact, quite a while. Gave the gray matter quite a little workout; nearly wore out the old thinking cap!

Q: Why are you so critical of computer-read, computer-printout horoscopes?

A: Simply because they are nothing more than curiosities, novelties or "cotton candy" which should be for sale only at carnivals, circuses, sideshows and other places where purchasers realize they are solely for entertainment purposes--just like a ride on the ferris wheel. These "one-size-fits-all" so-called horoscopes provide very little if anything to help those who purchase them. Professional astrologers are counselors who are dedicated to offering help and common-sense guidance to clients. (Further, those who purchase these "horoscopes" often are so disappointed and "turned off" they may never again have any interest in legitimately-practiced Astrology. This is most unfortunate not only for these individuals but for the science-art Astrology as well.)

Q: Why doesn't Elbert Wade offer a larger "menu" for prospective clients to select from? Some internet astrologers offer numerous choices. Why do you just feature natal chart readings, updates (12-month trends), and compatibility studies -- which are in fact two natal chart readings?

A: Because Elbert is not a "keyboard astrologer." If you will note, those who are honest up-front will indicate their various offerings constitute so many "pages" -- meaning they are computer-calculated, computer-read charts, most of which are not their work at all. All these operators have to do is type in your name and birth data -- the computer does nearly all the work. From start to finish these "short-order cooks" need only invest a very few minutes to crank out yet another NO-BRAINER "one-size-fits-all" horoscope or so-called report, comparison, evaluation, etc.

Q: Are you open to answering responses from those who might refute or question what you have said here?

A: Absolutely. Elbert Wade encourages and welcomes any and all responses.

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Another copyrighted real Astrology article by professional certified consultant Texas astrologer Elbert Wade, PMAFA

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