Astrology, elbert wade, PMAFA certified, consultant astrologer

Marriage at a Crossroads

by Elbert Wade, PMAFA - Professional Certified Consultant Astrologer
Copyright © 2002 - 2017 Elbert Wade - Worldwide Rights Reserved
(Original actual-case 'Notebook' Astrology article by certified consultant astrologer Elbert Wade published here first)

THE thirty-six-year-old Libran informed me on the phone that her fourteen-year marriage to her Capricorn husband was at a crossroads, and that she also needed some insight into career areas and possibilities in case she divorced and had to go to work. She further said they had two Virgo sons, ages seven and ten.

Her horoscope was interesting and unusually revealing. Five planets in the tenth house of career, notice, and recognition all trined two planets in the sixth house, both of which conjoined the cusp of her seventh house of marriage.

This native wants lots of attention, especially from her mate and all close associates. Jupiter, ruler of the Ascendant, and Pluto were in the eighth house of desire and sex. While Pluto had three sextiles (intensifying libido), Jupiter received two hard squares from the Sun and Mercury, inclining to communication problems, selfishness, and perhaps a "negative" personality. The Moon in the ninth house squared both the planets conjoining the seventh-house cusp, an indication of difficulties in sharing feelings with others, as well as an inclination to emotional "martyrdom." In addition, the Moon in Virgo is not typically attuned to deep emotional responsiveness.

Eight of ten planets were above the Earth; I knew she'd level with me if I could succeed in getting her attention (Sagittarius was her Ascendant!). Further, the progressed Sun (males) was in close conjunction with Venus (love, lovers) in the "social" eleventh house. I strongly suspected she had a lover, likely a neighbor or "close" friend.

Appointment time came; she proved moderately attractive, very nervous, uptight, and almost beside herself. Indeed, here was a lady with some very heavy problems.

Early on I chanced, "You are involved in a love affair now, are you not?"

She appeared quite shocked but answered, "Yes."

"Further, this male's a close or close-by friend as well?"

"Well, yes, but how did you know?"

"Because the progressed Sun (males) is near your Venus (love/lovers) in the house of friends." This statement caused her to become more even more anxious.

"Mercury, ruler of your house of marriage, is trine Saturn, ruler of your second house of money. Isn't your Capricorn husband a good provider?" I asked.

"Yes, he is," she replied.

"Mars, ruler of your fifth house of offspring, trines your mate's ruler, Saturn. Isn't it true that your husband is a good father?"

"Oh, yes he is. I have no complaints there."

"His ruler, Saturn, sextiles Pluto in your eighth house of sex. Isn't he, if not spectacular, at least an adequate lover?"

"Well ... yes," was her slow reply.

"Then what's the problem with your marriage?"

"Well, there are just a lot of things he doesn't give me emotionally, and I am such an emotional person."

"You, an emotional person," I asked, "with only one water planet, almost non-functional because of two squares, an air/mental Libra Sun, a fiery, aloof Sagittarius Ascendant, and an earthy, 'cold' Virgo Moon? I don't mean to offend you, but I doubt you'd recognize 'true' emotional love if you met it on the street.

"Your chart doesn't indicate you're very well programmed to deal with love on much more than a 'surface' or 'token' level. I remind you this isn't your 'fault'; it's just a realistic inventory of the 'tools' you were given to work with in life. And if the workman knows his tools, how to work with them, what they will as well as will not do, he's assured of less frustration and more progress."

I then asked, "Please tell me more about your lover."

Almost choking on the word, she replied, "Lover? He's just a friend."

"A friend. I see. May I ask if you've been intimate with him?"

After a long pause and a deep sigh, she answered, "Yes, for seven months. I'm sorry, I just have difficulty in admitting to this."

"You have Gemini (youthfulness) ruling your seventh house. Is he younger than you?"

Guiltily she replied, "Yes, but if I tell you his age, you'll know how really terrible I am. He's nineteen, a good neighbor, and a Pisces."

"I'm sorry to put you through this, but I want to help. Please know I do not sit in judgement of your lifestyle, but since you seem so upset and confused, may I point out a few things to you -- objectively? You admit your mate's a good provider, a good father, sexually adequate, dependable, reliable, and faithful. You have fourteen years together and more importantly two sons who need good parents. Will you want custody of your children if you divorce?"

"Yes, of course."

"Do you think your nineteen-year-old 'friend' would make a good father for your ten-year-old son--and the seven-year-old son?"

"Oh, he really gets along well with the kids."

"Excuse me. But you really aren't thinking very clearly. Please face reality. Do you think your husband will give custody to you and your unemployed nineteen-year-old 'friend' who's been sexually involved with you behind his back for seven months? I won't tell you what to do, but this situation is serious and needs some rational thinking about -- and immediately."

"Thank you very much. It has hurt a lot; but you've told and made me face what I've known but foolishly refused to accept as the truth. My children are much more important than the joys of a love affair with a teenager."

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