Astrology, elbert wade, PMAFA certified, consultant astrologer

She Really Bent My Ear

by Elbert Wade, PMAFA - Professional Certified Consultant Astrologer
Copyright Dell Magazines [Dell Horoscope] -- Online version Copyright 1999 - 2017 - Elbert Wade [Author]

A 45-year-old Latin-American lady called and absolutely insisted that I prepare her natal horoscope (no progressed or "trends" chart) and see her as soon as possible. Her intensity and my schedule gained her an appointment the next day.

Her chart was interesting -- to say the least! Visualize a birth chart with seven very-close oppositions, most of them from the "mind/mental" houses -- the third and ninth; nine squares, a Sun-Neptune conjunction, and seven of ten planets involved in a fixed cross. Add a Scorpio Sun and Ascendant, an Aquarius Moon -- plus eight heavenly bodies in fixed signs. Throw in a Mercury-Mars square and you have a tightly-wound "spring" which could discharge all its stored energy at just about any moment; then, in time, rewind itself and do the same again and again until it either breaks or wears out.

Four heavenly bodies -- Sun, Neptune, Mercury, Venus -- in her ninth house clued the strong probability that she definitely had her own concepts, beliefs and philosophies whether or not they might be in agreement with anyone else's on earth. Jupiter (the "amplifier") was conjunct the Moon (emotion) in the third house of communication, meaning she might have a lot to say about whatever would tend to trigger her feelings. Saturn (the "restrainer") conjoining her Ascendant could incline her to "bottle up" and hold back, at least for a while, what she felt a need to say or write, especially since Saturn ruled her third house of communication.

During chart preparation I noted the progressed Moon had, for the past two years, been in Scorpio, setting off, one by one, practically all her squares and oppositions. Her "spring" no doubt was wound to the absolute maximum.

Mrs. "N" as I shall call her here was early for the appointment but I was able to see her since a prior appointment had to be reset because the client had to go out of the city unexpectedly. Indeed she looked the "bundle of nerves" I expected. She appeared a bit older than she actually was.

I asked her to be seated, produced her horoscope and started my introductory remarks. However, she was paying no attention whatsoever. Then it all began with about the same "explosive" effect one expects when uncorking a not-fully-chilled and shaken bottle of champagne!

She arose from the chair, started pacing around the office and began rattling off comments -- some of which made little sense at all. From what she was saying, without even a brief pause, there were many matters bearing heavily on her mind, "nervous system" and conscience. Every time I attempted to interrupt and get to explaining her chart, I was stopped cold.

Her routine retort was: "Just a minute. I have much more to tell you. I've just got to get a number of things off my shoulders, and I am paying you to listen."

And listen is what this bewildered astrologer did. After all, who knew at what moment she might "self-destruct" or actually "attack"!

She spoke at length of everyone who had ever wronged her (not untypical for a "double" Scorpio): How partners were attempting to railroad her out of her business, how her children showed her no respect at all, how her church had let her down, how organized crime was hurting her business ventures, how family members demonstrated hatred toward her because of what she defined as "jealousy" since she was the first in the family to ever amount to anything financially, how the nosy government was prying into her business affairs, etc., etc.

About all I was "allowed" to do was nod or say, "My goodness," "Isn't that terrible," etc. Actually I never had even one chance to say anything about her chart. In time I just about gave up the idea of reading her horoscope. Probably no reason to do so since she was "on stage" in my office with me as her somewhat astonished audience, actually living out and getting rid of the stresses her chart so clearly indicated.

Her verbal rampage was marked frequently with large sweeping gestures, the pounding of her fists on the desk, intensified pacing, a bit of cursing, and at times excessive volume. (I wondered what occupants of nearby offices might be thinking!) In time I grew quite fatigued with her tirade and more or less stopped even listening to what she was saying, but nonetheless continued to appear interested. Undaunted, again and again I made token but useless attempts to get to reading her chart. Finally I gave up on this altogether. Her spirited monologue continued without interruption.

By this time (close to an hour and a half) I was ready to forget my fee, chalk this up to experience, and ask her please to leave -- whether fully "unwound" or not. Much to my surprise she began to calm down somewhat and directed her attention to me personally.

"I'm sorry," she said, "for going on as I have, but times come when I simply must let off steam or I fear I will just explode. You have been most kind to listen even though you probably think I'm off my rocker. I appreciate all that you have done for me and am most happy to pay you your fee. Thank you again."

I was somewhat astounded that she seemed so pleased and finally did accept payment but only after her repeated insistences that I do so. She then left, apparently much the better for the experience of paying for but not hearing even one word about her chart. Elbert Wade will never forget this unique appointment!

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